If it had been me taking a wide stance, I'd have said something along the lines of:Oh, and Michael, that website your son designed looks pretty good. What are you giving him in weekly allowance? If I ever need a snazzier website than this dinky blogspot blog, I may try to outbid you.
"Are you fucking kidding me? You arrested me for bumping your shoe? Seriously? Because I don't remember when we passed that law. How the hell am I supposed to know that's some kind of gay sex signal? I bump your shoe and pick up some paper off the floor and suddenly I'm getting hassled by cops? Ooookay. You're obviously nuts, so I'm going to lawyer up now."
The mistake Craig made was to assume too much. Straight guys -- or for that matter gay guys who don't give blowjobs in bathrooms, which I have to believe would be the vast majority -- have no idea that a wide stance is a form of sexual contact. The way to handle it with the cop would have been to play dumb, not innocent.
Tags: Larry Craig