Below is a religious tract I got handed awhile ago, I'm working on writing a parody. THIS IS A PLEA FOR HELP IN THE COMMENTS.
TITLE PAGE:
"PAID IN FULL" [Picture of Cross]
FIRST PAGE:
"DID YOU KNOW? YOU are in debt because of your sin?
"ROMANS 3:23 'For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.'
"ROMANS 3:19 'Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.'
"DO YOU REALIZE? What the cost of YOUR sin debt will bring in eternity?
[Okay, you get the picture with the Bible verses, I won't retype them all]
"HAVE YOU HEARD? YOUR sin debt has been 'PAID IN FULL':
[more Bible]"
PAGE TWO:
"WILL YOU BELIVE? THE BIBLE, the record of what God has done for you.
[still more Bible]
"WILL YOU TRUST? The eternity of your soul completely to JESUS CHRIST.
[Bible]
"REMEMBER: You must trust Jesus AND NOTHING ELSE.
[Bible, and not the last of it]"
LAST PAGE:
"HAVE YOU CLAIMED THE
"'PAID IN FULL'
"RECEIPT FOR YOUR SIN DEBT?
"_I CHOOSE TO TRUST JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED PAYMENT FOR MY SIN DEBT.
[Bible]
"_I CHOOSE TO REJECT THE PAYMENT OF JESUS CHRIST AND TRUST MY PAYMENT
[Bible, and that's the last of it - yay!]
Please send this tract to us to let us know that after reading it, you have decided to trust Jesus Christ as your Saviour.
[Place to give them your name and adress and all that]"
Okay, that's the tract. Now, how to parody it? I'm thinking a six point thing on thinking for your self, something on this plan:
LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE IRRATIONAL
IRRATIONALITY IS BAD
YOU CAN THINK FOR YOURSELF
NO BOOK IS INFALLIBLE
REASON CRITICALLY
REMEMBER - DON'T BLINDLY TRUST ANYONE
If anyone has a better plan, say so. But what I really need is quotes from famous - probably famous atheists, but anyone works really - to back up these headings, in place of Bible verses. Something snappy on the inquisition would be nice for the second point.
1 comment:
I did a little digging around and didn't come up with any funny quotes that would fit your headings. The only useful quote I found is from Hitler: "What good fortune for those in power that the people do not think."
Would it be a better idea to do a parody tract using quotes from the Bible itself? Maybe scan the Sceptics' Annotated Bible site's "absurdity" section. The title of the tract could be something like: "I'm a Christian. Now What Do I Do?" It can include things like:
Q: I heard my neighbor blaspheme God the other day. What should I do about it?
A: Stone him to death. (Then print Leviticus 24:16)
Q: I know I'm a Christian, but my friends don't believe me. How can I prove it to them?
A: Drink deadly poison, handle poisonous snakes, and heal the sick. (Quote Mark 16:17-18)
Q: My friends tell me that Jesus is the Prince of Peace. Is this true?
A: Don't be silly! Jesus said, "I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!...Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division." Luke 12:49-51.
Let me know if you want to go this route. I enjoy finding ridiculous quotes from the Bible, and I'd be glad to help you put together a parody tract.
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